There are so many wonderful blogs that talk about wives respecting their husbands and how to speak words of respect to your man that build him up and encourage him and help him grow. There are also great ones about how no one but Jesus can give you all the unconditional love that your heart longs for and that your husband wasn't created to provide all of that for you. My post today will approach the topic from a more personal perspective as I remember my own early years of marriage.
It saddens me when young women shed disappointed tears over their favorite guy's lack of romance skills.
As a young wife, I would get so excited over a date night, a romantic holiday, a wedding anniversary, any day that required sweet romance from my husband. I would beautify myself, paint my nails, put on my best clothes and perfume, and be totally prepared for the perfect evening out. I am ashamed to admit that I ended those evenings in silent tears more often than not because of unrealistic and, therefore, unmet expectations on my part. My husband simply could not compete with the standard I had set for my perfect evening to be perfectly perfect in every way.
As I look back on those days, I am so glad they are over. When my husband and I are able to get a night out these days, I look forward to simply being with him and enjoying good conversation at a decent restaurant. It is not that I have accepted mediocrity and lowered my standards. But I have learned that mature love has no room or desire for shows or airs or unattainable proof that my husband loves me and knows how to create perfection to make me happy.
And if I may be so bold, any woman who expects such things needs to understand her reality. The reality is that, more than likely, your husband loves you very much. If he does not know how to set a grand stage for a romantic date night, or if funds are tight right now, or if he works overtime hours to keep the bills paid, or if there is other stress in his life, he does not need a wife who is on the edge of despair because he cannot create a perfect Valentine's Day for her.
(Reminder: I am the voice of experience here.)
If you've been disappointed this Valentine's Day in your man's unsuccessful, or even non-existent, attempt to make you happy, please look inside yourself and your man. Give him the benefit of the doubt and accept that he really does love you very much.
Also, as you look at your own heart, do not expect, or accept, groveling on his part as he attempts to appease you yet again for his gross inability to be a real man. Tell him he is exactly who you want him to be and encourage him in who he really is - the man who captured your heart with his handsome looks, ability to make you laugh, desire to protect and love you, everything that comes to your mind when you remember what made your heart skip a beat when you first fell for him. If watching him grovel gives you a little bit of a superior high, pardon me here, you're spoiled and need to work on growing up.
Remember, Valentine's Day is simply a man-made holiday for those in love to show their love. Don't make it a test of your man's ability to make you happy.
