Each Thursday in November I am going to post something I am thankful for in celebration of the Thanksgiving holiday. I would love for you to do the same!
Today I am thankful for the gift of rest in the midst of turmoil.
Up until a few years ago, I worried over everything. My husband told me that if I didn't have something to worry about, I'd make something up. And he was right. I had no peace. I did not know how to truly trust. I could not rest.
And then for some crazy reason about 8 years ago, I decided to make my Scripture goal - "I have learned
to be content in whatever situation I find myself in" (my paraphrase).
Little did I know at the time that the Lord had that goal for me also.
Shortly after that declaration of my new Scripture goal, my husband was laid off from his job of over 20 years. Stress! Maximum stress! Now 7 1/2 years and much turmoil later, I understand trust. And I know how to go to sleep at night and truly rest. Our struggles are not over. My husband has had to start over in a new career when many are beginning to count down the years to retirement. But we have lost our retirement savings and live day-to-day, not knowing what the next month's commissions are going to be or how the bills will be paid. There is a song that says He gives "just enough light for the step I'm on." That's where we are.
-----------------------
My journal notes in December, 2003:
"I try so hard to lay it at the feet of Jesus, but fear gets the best
of me. I live in a constant state of fear these days...Why can't I trust?? Why can't I shake this fear that controls my
life?? I'm so tired and weary. It's taking too long...I know
deep in my soul that the Lord is there and with us and will carry us
through - is carrying us through. But I'm just so tired."
-----------------------
My journal notes a few months later in August, 2004:
"Thank You, Father, that I am reaching the point of thankfulness to You
for Your teaching, for growing me deeper and deeper in Your love.
Thank You, Father, for being more concerned with my character than my
comfort. Thank You, Father, for taking my control from me. Through
this I've learned to hand control over to You. Thank You, Father, for
helping me to be content in whatever circumstances I find myself in ~
because You are there in the midst ~ in control. Thank You, Father,
for helping me see that I have never had reason to fear, for You have
always been my Provider, my Peace, my Comforter, even when I've not
been so sure of it. Thank You, Father, because it's finally getting
from my head to my heart. This could not have happened without trials
to the point of despair, without learning to give up control, without
learning to be content no matter the circumstance, without learning,
through trials, to rest in You. It's all about You, Lord, it's all
about You.
More of You, more of You. I've had it all, but what I need is more of You.
We have lost all monetary crutches, and have gained ~ You! We have no
resources left to rely on ~ but we have You! Our assets have been cut
in half, and we are left with You! You are truly all we need. Your
faithfulness endures forever!"
-----------------------------
How does one rest in the midst of difficult circumstances? I believe it
it simply something that must be learned. (Remember my Scripture goal? I have learned to be content...) It is not something that can
be conjured up or willed into existence through clenched teeth and fists. Our trials help us grow. I wouldn't trade the past few years for anything. What a wonderful thing to finally be able to trust my Heavenly Father and rest in Him.
(And FYI - I still have my moments! Human!)
I hope this has not been too depressing as a Thanksgiving post! But I know that many are hurting during the holiday seasons each year and pray that the Lord will give His rest to each and every one. I would love to read your Thankfulness posts! Leave a comment and link to your blog if you have one.
Come to Me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28
The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Deuteronomy 31:8
"Father I pray for my dear sisters who are fearful and distressed during this Thanksgiving season. Show them Your peace...and teach them Your rest. Amen"
This post linked to Heavenly Homemakers Gratituesday